What does Google say on “How to be Sexy”?

By Guest Blogger, Prachi Pandey-Rathaur

“I don’t know how to be sexy” 

“I wish I could feel as sensual and free as the women in your photographs”

I hear this all the time, from my clients. That’s one of our curses as women, we don’t see our potential. We put ourselves in “cute” boxes and when someone suggests that we are sexy, we laugh it off by replying, “No way. Me? Nope.” 

Many women tell me that they don’t know how to pose or look sensual and sexy, in front of a camera; instead, they continue by telling me about their flaws and what they consider to be physical imperfections.

As a photographer, I get it! I too have these moments of insecurities more often than I would like and here is what I say to all my clients…

“It’s not your job to make yourself look amazing in your photos, it’s mine. You are in really, really good hands and THAT is my promise.”

I am aware that this sounds like a self-tooting statement, but I KNOW what my capabilities are. I know what I can do with a pose, lighting, fabric or a plain old shirt and some encouragement. With a sprinkle of photo-finishing dust and my minimalistic shoot style, the wardrobe doesn’t even matter. Being photographed is a sensual experience and that is what I want my client to remember.

My intuition allows me to be in tune with people’s energy. I work with all my clients by posing them in ways that help them feel comfortable with who they are rather than focusing on their perceived flaws. Through the art of posing, the question of how to be sexy, confident or a badass is no longer an issue and comes naturally through the experience. I want my clients to embrace themselves as powerful, graceful and sensual beings. I want them to realize that this process is all about connecting with your inner SHE, without judgement.  We are very good at putting on several hats in a day, as moms, business owners, wives or daughters etc., however we rarely recognize ourselves as the sexy, beautiful women, that we are.

In my experience as a photographer, I realize that women don’t see the fact that being sensual is a feeling about themselves and not anyone else. It’s about wearing an outfit or putting on makeup or getting your hair done to create the masterpiece that you want to be. 

You are gorgeous inside and out and what you consider “flaws” are beautiful features which no other woman has. A mole, a stretch mark because of childbirth or grey hair, because of your experience, are not what I consider flaws. When you acknowledge these “flaws”, you accept you. 

It’s hard for me to explain that when I am behind the camera, I don’t see “flaws”, I see you, only you and the experience of being photographed, for yourself, is the only time you will feel this. This experience like not any other, it’s exhilarating and empowering.

I have to say, the photograph reveal is the favourite part of any of my client sessions, because the awestruck expression is priceless when they see their portraits. More often than not, my clients see the part of themselves that has been lost in the shuffle of their day to day life. And that realization alone sets them free!

So toss out the idea of a Google search on “HOW TO BE SEXY”. You’ve got this.

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